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An Old Colonial’s Hard Luck Story


Another old colonial comes with a hard luck story:

“We had a big plantation
We had servants
A smashing view of the jungle
These things belonged to us
But we had to leave
The beautiful country that we owned
It’s so disgraceful
An affront to our dignity!

“The natives weren’t so bad
Sometimes you had to beat them a bit
Sometimes they’d get lazy
Sometimes they got ideas
But we had a boy in the kitchen
By God, I swear he was almost like
A member of the family
Those were the days…”

You might see them on the streetcar
You might meet them in the store
They might stumble on a piece of jewelry
Or hear Miriam Makeba on the radio
Then their eyes get misty and they reminisce.

“I wouldn’t go there now
Look at the way they run themselves
I say it goes to show
We were right all along
These are such hard times
And I miss my life of privelege
We had servants…”

Oh you poor suffering creature
Don’t bend my ear again
You spend your old age whining
‘Cause you did not get the warning
Don’t complain to me
You’re lucky to be alive
You’re goddamn lucky you got your ignorant white ass out in time!

Revolution is not pretty
Sometimes it’s not even beautiful
It’s not even always just
When it’s just too late.

© 1991 Undulant Rhetoric (BMI)